Misodelhism?

miso- or mis- pref. Hatred: misogamy
Delhi [(del-ee)] City in north-central India. The nation's capital
ism /Izem/ Pronunciation Key –noun a distinctive doctrine, theory, system, or practice

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)

Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

Working with the above definitions, the title is tantamount to a doctrine about contempt for Delhi. A meeting with a few friends of Rishi (of the right sidebar fame) and the impression they carried prompted me into writing this. Let my start with a clarification that I do not hate/dislike Delhi. As a city, it just disturbs me!

I think Delhi is hard on a new-comer not in the Bombay kind of a way. Bombay absorbs you, passes its nervous energy, frenzy, activity to you even before you realize it. Delhi on the other hand is like a hurdle. Either you cross it or you are stuck clueless. In my case, I just stumbled at the hurdle. Even after having spent 17 months cumulatively over the last few years, I still feel that Delhi culture refuses to assimilate me.

The city has a lot going for itself. Delhi has the best infrastructure in the country. I think it has a rich historical heritage. I doubt any other Indian metropolis can come close to Delhi’s historical heritage. Delhi has a cuisine that people around the globe would swear by. Delhi has sirifort, IHC, Auto Expo, Metro and everything else that could make life convenient. Lutyens Delhi is close to what a perfect city would look like. It does give you the heady shot of power. The moment I’d be able to put my name on a small piece of land out there, I would know that I have arrived in life. Delhi does have arguably the best CV amongst Indian cities. However, the party for Delhi has been spoiled by the Delhi culture. People outside Delhi seem to carry a far from good impression of Delhi. The in-the-face aggression, grab-what-you-can-get mentality, short-tempered high-pitched-expletive-laced conversational tone do put you off. It is tough to ignore them in your day to day existence. And on a continued basis they are such a pain in the rear that you are sore all the time.

Over the last 9 years, I have lived in Bombay, Delhi, Hyderabad, Ahmedabad, Chennai and Bangalore. I think Delhi has the worst professional work ethic. It is difficult to take your colleagues at face value. The old hierarchical school is still strong in the city. The PSU culture of strong hierarchies pervades the swank interiors of most MNCs in Delhi. Another disturbing aspect of life in Delhi is the avowed hostility against women. I doubt any woman would dare venture alone in most parts of Delhi after dark. Gawking openly is an integral part of the daily ToDo list of the Delhi male.

Dilli-dilwalon-ki! One gets to hear this epithet from the Delhiwallahs all the time. I am yet to experience the warmth of this heart. I have found that a linguistically challenged Chennai can be warmer than Delhi. To allegedly the most exhibitionist of Indian Cities, I would recommend slightly subtle display of material wealth.

Sans the types I have written about, Delhi rocks!

The Jargon Trap

This is based on an actual conversation that I had with a friend of mine who is an equity analyst with a European bank and with an illustrious academic career. The following conversation beautifully illustrates what the two years at B-school and Corporate world do to most people!

Friend: I was off to Vietnam on the weekend

Me: Wow! I get to travel to the sambhar-vada shop round the corner on my average weekend and you go to Vietnam. I am so envious!

Friend: No need to be envious. You travel more often. So it evens out!

Me: WHATTTT! If these two are comparable, why do not you, the humanoid leaky cauldron, include your innumerable number of visits to the loo! Anyway, bidesh brabhaman ki manyata humesha se hi desh bhatkan se jyada rahi hai!!

Friend: Nepal, Bhutan, Vietnam are not strictly bidesh

Me: When did you visit Nepal and Bhutan?

Friend: Nepal when I was 3 yr old and Bhutan was a second-hand visit through YYY and a few batch mates at the IIM in the eastern part of the country

Second-Hand visit!!! A jargon definitely worthy of the stereotypical jargon spouting MBA. Another one lost to the jargon trap!

Pride and Shame

Two days with two emotions. Indian sports have just managed the same. Pride because the Indian cricket team won the first test in South Africa. Not pride actually, but some semblance of respect after the pathetic performance in the 50-50 format. But definitely pride for the compulsive cricket follower. The last cling-able strand of hope. Laxman has his feet moving, Dada had a good comeback, Tendulkar is back on the front foot (Seems to be in good nick. Just needs a big one). Bowlers are doing great. Zaheer has matured, Sreesanth has the aggression of the untamed and Kumble is the seasoned hunter. The optimists need no more reasons to remain interested in the rest of the test series. We do secretly believe that team India stands a chance in Caribbean 2007. But that is a secret, so sussssh!

Shame. If the cricket episode was shame converted into pride. Santhi’s failure to clear gender test was exactly the opposite. She (?) was the toast of Tamil Nadu as she won the 800m Silver medal at Doha. Apparently authorities at Indian Olympic Association (IOA) were in the know on this as Santhi had failed to satisfy the railways on this very issue. Interestingly, gender testing has been discontinued at International athletics. The test is conducted only if a fellow competitor complains of foul play. If someone who ran a race along with Santhi could sense this, how can Nagarajan, Santhi’s Coach at Prime Sports academy, claim innocence on this?

Anyway, Pride is a difficult emotion to come by in Indian sports. There are a lot of promising sportspersons but more often than not their sporting careers meet a sad end. Professionally, a clerical job with the railways or the Indian Airlines is not the best fallback option as well. I had set-out to cover one pride and one shame. With some more blabbering on Indian sports it would be one shame too many. Hence, the stop!