Rubbing Hands

I have started loving the A(H1N1) paranoia. Even though we in India lose more lives to Malaria, Hygiene related infections, the entire health machinery, media and we (the aam aadmi) continue to be fascinated by Swine Flew.. Flu.

I got this from a friend. I still cannot believe it that someone somewhere thought that this absolutely needs to be posted. I love the 'Wedding Band Allowed' part the most!



Enjoy
!!!

Me and other Animals at work

Call it corporate ennui, but all of the following names are colleagues at work. My favourites being the Chimpanzee, Donkey, Doggie and the Anteryami Panda!

Enjoy!
Mink, Lisa
Pigeon, Tamara
Bullock, Liz
Ma, Pony
Seal, Tony
Fox, Ani
Li, Tiger
zheng, eagle
Hawk, Chris
Xiong, Bear
Llamas, Rosy
Puma, Terese
Zhao, Kitty
Swan, Rich
Canard, Robyn
Wang, Snake
Li, Lion
Chen, Chimpanzee
Fang, Jackal
Wolf, Dafmar
Liang, Doggie
Fish, Tim
Panda, Anteryami
Peacock, Justin
Bullock, Jeff
Yu, Dragon
Lu, Donkey
Shen, Mouse
Crow, David
Bird, Richard
Lee, Kiwi
Sparrow, Simon

The Typical Day

At times, Dilbert is spot on with the day you have had at work. Had one of those days. This strip of three published two days back sums it up really well.

Scott Adams quit working long time back. The fact that he keeps getting these ideas truly amazes me!

The Jargon Trap

This is based on an actual conversation that I had with a friend of mine who is an equity analyst with a European bank and with an illustrious academic career. The following conversation beautifully illustrates what the two years at B-school and Corporate world do to most people!

Friend: I was off to Vietnam on the weekend

Me: Wow! I get to travel to the sambhar-vada shop round the corner on my average weekend and you go to Vietnam. I am so envious!

Friend: No need to be envious. You travel more often. So it evens out!

Me: WHATTTT! If these two are comparable, why do not you, the humanoid leaky cauldron, include your innumerable number of visits to the loo! Anyway, bidesh brabhaman ki manyata humesha se hi desh bhatkan se jyada rahi hai!!

Friend: Nepal, Bhutan, Vietnam are not strictly bidesh

Me: When did you visit Nepal and Bhutan?

Friend: Nepal when I was 3 yr old and Bhutan was a second-hand visit through YYY and a few batch mates at the IIM in the eastern part of the country

Second-Hand visit!!! A jargon definitely worthy of the stereotypical jargon spouting MBA. Another one lost to the jargon trap!

Collective Wisdom of the last three years

The last three years have helped me transform into a cynic. The following gems were produced during the golden age of my cynicism i.e. before I left Chennai for Delhi. This post is dedicated to the brotherhood of the OICs at the Bank.

1. Life is a struggle against the mediocrity of your own
2. Being simple is the most complex task that you would come across
3. Tomorrow will be as bad as today
4. When in the line of fire, Lie low!
5. Good advise is never appreciated if given out of time
6. A kick in time, saves nine
7. Anticipation is worse than constipation
8. Planning life is like taking the bull by its horns. Doesn't work!
9. Hard work is 99% perception and 1% perspiration
10. Independence in highly undervalued when you have it!
11. Never ever give more information than sought
12. If you knock at the wall in place of the door, you will hurt your knuckles
13. Rumors are always more interesting than people!
14. If you don't seize the moment, someone else will!
15. If its too good to be true, Wake up!
16. Unhappiness is directly proportional to the happiness of the residual world
17. Change is easy as long as it is for someone else
18. There is less good in this world than you think
19. The best mood to finish important tasks is last moment panic
20. Life is a coin biased against you!
21. Life is a lemon and I want a refund
22. Two and two make five with appropriate amount of alcohol or insanity
23. Irritation is the first pedestal to success
24. Boredom will get you sooner or later
25. Habit is the strongest narcotic
26. Like Thank you, Hello and Hi there, goodbye is just another word

Adding more, June 2011

27. Life is more twisted that you think it is
28. Hair today, gone tomorrow (More applicable for Men)
29. Only groups can be more tyrannical than real life tyrants
30. Why simplify when you can obfuscate
31. The tribe of stupid is for real and there are more of them than you would think