What Is Wrong With Tendulkar?

Let me start of by sharing a few myths that threaten to occupy collective consciousness of cricket following populace.

"He is not a match winner any more"

"India has lost the game in most of Tendulkar's high scoring matches"

"Lara and Ganguly have won more matches for their country than Tendulkar"

"Most of his centuries have come against cricket minions"

"He is a burden on the team and we would rather someone else don the cap that he wears for India"

The operating word here is "myth" - so let me try and demystify Tendulkar's non-performance for you.

Just a look at his record and a comparison with the fellow 'greats' tells you that you are lucky to have seen him play.

Table : Top batsmen in One-day format

India has emerged victorious 29 times from the 41 centuries of Tendulkar.

The charge I hear most often is these days that SRT labors for runs. Incidentally, the records tell a different story. The time taken to reach 10K milestone by the so called more aggressive batsmen has been more. More surprise, the career strike rates of the so called quick scoring willow-men are lower as well. Amongst all the batsmen who have score more than 5000 one day runs, only Gilchrist and Jayasuriya have a higher strike rate. Even the ‘explosive’ Ponting has a lower strike rate. Tendulkar has also been a handy bowler with a 147 wicket haul to boast about. Anyway, I know I need not wax eloquent about what Tendlya is capable of, numbers speak for themselves.

Table: Matches taken to get to the 10,000 milestone

He is often charged of plundering runs against the minnows. Let us look at the record of centuries scored against Minor cricketing nations viz., Namibia, Kenya, UAE, Netherlands, Bangladesh and Zimbabwe (though I believe that the Zimbabwe team of Heath Streak with the flower brothers was a good team. Remember the 3-0 white wash of the English team in 1996!)

Table: Performance against Cricket Minions


Thus, a whopping 32 centuries of Tendulkar have come against the greater cricketing powers with 6 of them against Australia. Even at 32 centuries he stands taller than all the other top run getters in ODI cricket!

Is Tendulkar a match winner? We will figure that out from the following analysis.

Table: Match winning capability

Let me explain how this table works. The first two columns are 100s and 50s made for the match-winning side by the player. Here, we see that Ponting firing means almost a certain victory for his team as the Aussies have returned victors for 86% of(f) all the matches that Ponting has scores a 50/100. But to the surprise of many Tendulkar doubters, we do win most of the times when Tendulkar fires! (Though we might all want that number of 63% to be a tad higher)

But hey! Tendulkar compares poorly with the other greats here. Why? Cricket is a team game and very often victory (or loss) is a function of how the rest of the team performs. So lets move on to the second half of the table. ‘Team performance’ is the number of matches won from all the matches that the player has played. ‘Team Dependency’ is the ratio of matches where the player has ‘scored’ and ‘Team performance – Matches won’. This ratio conveys the dependency of the team on the player for winning a match.

So Inzy seems to be blessed with a team that is least dependent on him for winning a match, he has fired in only 28% of the matches that his team has won with he as a member of playing eleven. Ponting has a lower number than most others. But that was expected, Aussies are a fearsome lot on the greens with each of the playing eleven a potential match winner! They have won 67% of all the matches that Ponting has played for them.

And unexpectedly (!), Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar is the best that India has got! Though the above analysis shows that Lara (42%) is marginally better than Tendulkar (40%) when it comes to winning matches for the team, Tendulkar is undoubtedly better than anyone else! He has been instrumental to team victories 40% of the times the team has won which, as the table shows, is more than most ODI batting legends. On absolute numbers, he has won more matches for his team than anyone else.

And to answer the question that the title poses, NOTHING! Yes, he has had a miserable last year. But he looks in good nick! And every cricket fan in the country hopes (at least secretly) that Tendulkar sees us through in this world cup! After all, he is the highest run getter in the cup of all times. And in the matches that India has won, he has an average of about 80!

Table: World Cup Performance

With this last deluge of numbers, I sign-off. I think all the myths have been taken care of, except the first one. So, please to do a memory refresh, he was the Man-of-the-Series for the recently concluded ODI series with West Indies!

Yeh Desh Hai Veer Jawanon Ka!

The band broke into the tune of “Yeh desh hain Veer Jawanon ka” and I knew that we were close to Rambagh palace where the wedding was supposed to happen. It is a tune that never fails to amuse me especially because all the marriage bands play it at least thrice for every outing they get to make. A tried and tested number that makes that most bashful of aunties shake a leg or two! But the buzz is that kajrare is all set to dethrone it as the compulsive body shaker. In one my chit-chats with one of the uncles in one of the weddings, the topic under discussion was the inappropriateness of this song. Pat came the reply, “Arre if the jawan is not veer enough, how would he muster the courage to go through all this?”

Anyway, Bullbull was in no need for any courage, he had shown his intentions with his surprise item in the ladies Sangeet. Trusti matched him with Piya to-se naina which was as graceful as Waheeda’s actual rendition in Guide. I think all of us were awed by the well choreographed show put up by both the families. I for one was so stunned at a certain point that I could not clap. It was like watching something on TV! Finally we also ended on the dance floor and did some real mean jigs. One of the high points of the day was the trip to the railway station at 1:30 AM in the night. We did squeeze 7 people in a Wagon R. It still beats me how none of them complained! Tea was refreshing indeed. And I realized that I know more of Jaipur than I think I do!

Back to the baraat scene. It started raining. I saw a few aunties berating the groom for eating in Karahi (the belief is that it rains if the groom eats in a karahi. My mom tells me that it will rain many times over in my wedding, whenever it happens). All happened as planned. After the Jayamaal and the grub, we moved for the Pheras. The women, Tulli, Laika and Tanvir, retired for the day. Gori and Pee also gave up after a while (I seriously doubt if it was even a while!). Bhushan and I prevailed but if alternate reports are to be believed, I took sufficient power naps to be captured on camera multiple times!

Anyway, the Spice Jet flight proved to be an adventure in more than one ways. Apart from the rough take-off and landing that had my neighbour clutching the arm-rests and everything else, the experience was incredibly bad! The flight from Jaipur was just 3.5 hrs late and I almost missed my connecting flight (With Spice Jet again!). I could hardly believe my ears as I was told that Spice Jet is a point-to-point carrier and only 600 Rupees would be deducted for me missing the connecting flight! They charge you for all the inconvenience they cause you. It is your fault that you chose them in the first place. Anyway, as luck had it, the connecting flight was delayed as well. So after some confusion and a couple of “Last Call for Mr. Mehta” later, I managed to board the flight. On landing, Namma Bengaluru had the airs of a town that had a dawn to dusk bundh planned for its denizens the very next day. Perfect end to the perfect weekend! The only spoiler was the unavailability of bread at all the supermarkets. We will talk about that some other time. I think I will go download the song; it is still playing in my consciousness!

Late again!

I was late again. But this time it was something that I am never late for. I think I drove like a possessed person. It was almost like being late for JEE. Another reason why it was different is that the delay was due to a friend who believes that all late comers are inflicted by a deadly disease called prateekolytis. I was late for a Kailash Kher & Lucky Ali concert. I missed almost all the songs of Kailash. He was done with Diwani and other songs of Kailasa by the time we reached IIMB. All I got was Allah ke bande, Chak-de-fatte (Kholsa ka Ghosla) and Sanu ek Pal (Cover version of Nusrat's original). Vishy, I am not forgiving you for this for a long long time to come!

Lucky Ali was good as well. He did all his hits. He is not that great a performer on stage. But he manages the sweet raspy sound that has earned him fans across the globe(?). Kailash Kher seems to more at home on stage. Finally, had to settle for a few rounds of kailasa with some vodka thrown in for good measure. So, to all the people who read this, do invite me if Kailash performs at a location close to you. I think I will be willing to travel if need be!

Talking about music, there is something magical about the voice of Chinmayee! It is nothing short of magic when she starts off with "tere binaa chaand kaa sonaa khotaa re" in Tere bina of Guru. Another in-the-loop song on winamp! Another number that fascinates is "Maula mere maula" from Anwar. Roop Kumar Rathore does an amazing job with the vocals. At times, I feel that he is one of the most underutilized singers of bollywood. A new boy by the name of Mithoon is the music director. Apparently, he shares credits with Pritam (Gangster, Mere yaar ki shaadi fame) for Bas Ek Pal.

And on an unrealted note, watch Annie Hall. Based on a real life relationship between Woody Allen and Diane Keaton (Playing themselves in the movie), it talks about Anhedonia (a state of acute melancholia with an inability to experience pleasure and enjoy oneself) - a state that Woody is trapped in. Funny with a great comic timing, must watch! Dekh Lo...

Good work ESPN

ESPN is doing something really nice with PHL. The quality of the game is ok. Players still dribble a lot. Trapping is bad and passing patchy. But the speed and the uncertainty of the game of hockey is very much there. Businesses and touts do smell an opportunity here. So much so that the domain name www.phlhockey.com has been registered by some "Pylon hockey league." But ESPN got smart and registered it in a different name. The “Pile-on” was largely unsuccessful!

The coverage has stark similarities with the way NBA is covered. Players are profiled. Small interviews are shot and shown. Field incidents are covered in great detail. Doctors treating injured players give their opinion. Time-out conversations are shown. And the best part is that most of it is in Hindi! So you cannot help but feel the excitement when the Maratha Warriors coach tells Viren Rasquinha to "Ball lekar uske left side se nikal ja, wahan par reflex kharaab hai". You have to rejoice when Mukesh Kumar puts his fingers between his lips and whistles away to glory as Shakeel Abbasi manages to find the net.

However, the sad part is that the numbers in the stadium are miniscule. But it feels great to see the ball rolling under the flood lights. If only KPS Gill does something similar on the administration side of things! But that would be to expect too much from someone who is shamefully power hungry. We probably have the best team in years but all that talent seems to be destined to ignominy. Any hockey follower would have been weaned away from the game because of what Mr. Gill has been doing to Indian Hockey. If only Mani Shankar Aiyar (Minister of Sports and Youth Affaris) does something, i.e. get someone capable and passionate at the helm of affairs, we might get a chance to see what the present team is capable of!

AWOL

I have been away, to use an acronym from the late nineteenth/early twentieth century, AWOL! Have traveled a bit and had the last two Mondays as non-working. So life has been looking up!

Mathur got married. But I cannot write about marriages without writing a long piece about Namu's wedding. So will skip that with the remark that I have a few hundred rupees notes as sabashi for the incessant dancing, which has been ascribed the unbecoming verb of body-throwing in my specific context, on Mathur's Mehendi-Ki-raat. I think it might have to do something with the adulterated Limca that I laced my inners with! But thanks to this wedding, I got to see Lodhi Garden in Delhi. Beautiful place, one has to visit this place to believe that it is in Delhi. I think Delhi has many such treats to offer but one never gets down to enjoying them when he is around!

And then I visited the hallowed city of Rajnikant and his adoring fans. Stayed three houses away from Ms. Jayalalitha. She does have a huge house for a single woman of her age. Anyway it is always good to be back in Chennai (for a short while, I must add - just in case, there is a god and has a funny sense of humour). So I was there for a visa interview. People in U.S., no need to raise the alarm. This was more of a just-in-case visa and nothing to do with a visit in the offing. But the entire experience of getting a visa is very humbling or did-I-mean humiliating, indeed! Even the guards at the consulate treat you with a lot of antagonism. The Consulate in-charge gives the most condescending of lectures on "how to handle your visa interview".

"Say Hello to you interviewer. What would you say?"

Silence

"I did not hear anything"

Some people mumble Hello.

"Did you say something?"

That does elicit a louder Hello! And he goes on to complete his set of instructions which are as helpful as the one that was just discussed. To add injury to salt (or it is the reverse), I got ripped off by an autowallah. I really hate being ripped off, especially by the autowallahs. Amma! They are still not using the fare meters.

This is the centenary year of Satyagriha. And Gandhigiri is all that our TV channels can think of. Seriously wish some channel has the sense to run a decent program. But I guess it is too much to ask for. Why burden your viewers with a program on Gandhian principles while you have the choice of inflicting them with the mangal-dosh in Aishwarya's horoscope and Shilpa's coup in Big Brother! I think an apt justification to this would be the market demand for the fatuous and a lack of appreciation for anything more purposeful. I really hope this is not the case!

Life's Cube

A cubic age is an important milestone in one’s life. Having reached one in the recent past, I would share the model that was built so assiduously on the day I turned the cube of the largest possible prime number (Atleast that’s the plan!)

1: Too young. Sound of air blowing through pursed lips makes you pee. You are the inspiration for the waterfall advert of Pampers (or was it huggies!)

8: Conscious of life. Id and Ego are in a hard setting mould. The Freudian school of psychologists has given up on you! You are yet to discover the charm of “late-night-movies” but the day is not far. All sports persons but for Koneru Hampi are of an older age. You dream of all the wonderful things that you would do when you grow up!

27: Marketers do not try to influence you anymore. Parents/ Girl Friend want to you get married to someone/ herself respectively. Dreadful thirties are dreadfully near! The set of sports people older than you are genially referred to as old-fogies. You think of all the wonderful things that you did when you were not grown up! Piece of advice, Say no to Cynicism!

64: You have en-cashed your retrials and are invested in a very-low yield government bond. You tell point-less stories about how things were when you were at the previous cubic. Young people scurry off when you start of with “Hamare jamane mein….” There are a lot of things not physically possible not matter how much you crave for it. Like climbing Mt. Everest etc (What were you thinking?). You can definitely buy that Ferrari but would you drive it?

125: You have to be a Japanese citizen on welfare.

I was about to write a pensive post on turning old. But then someone else wrote it. For the record, I saw my first white strand yesterday. I like to think of it as uparwala's camera trick. To people in similar predicament, this thought helps!

Happy New Year!

I know it is five days too late but what the heck! The gin-ke-do-char-log who read this blog know that I have a knack of defying all timelines. So I do it again! Have a wonderful 2007. Have fun and do not bother yourself with the vagaries of life. Hope you get to dance more often.

Someone somewhere sometime back told me that a blog is a responsibility. Did not realize that two months back but this sudden realization today (or was it yesterday - does not matter anyway) has left me with the guilt of a father who has not changed the diapers that were wet 5 hours back. So here's a senseless and totally inane post which is half done already.

Have watched nine movies over the last two weekends. Do watch Groundhog Day. Clean and an incredibly feel-good movie (even an incorrigible cynic like me could not avoid feeling good at the end of it, so I guess it is a heady concoction of uplifting emotions). Phil (Bill Murray) is a weatherman stuck in time. He lives the same day over and over again till he finds …. Strange parallels with the lives that we live. In one of the most ironical of conversations, Phil talks to a half-drunk guy at a pub:

Phil: Have you ever felt that you are living the same day over and over again?
Half Drunk Guy (HDG) (aghast like when you are when a complete stranger knows your secret): I feel like that all the time!

Alice McDowell adds the garnish that a mildly cute but not destructively attractive actress is supposed to add to a movie.

Two other movies that I would strongly recommend are Motorcycle Diaries and Syriana. Motorcycle Diaries is a movie on the bike ride that Ernesto Guevara de la Serna el Fuser (better known as Che Guevera) and Alberto Granados embarked on in the early 50s. In the words of Ernesto, “This isn't a tale of heroic feats. It's about two lives running parallel for a while, with common aspirations and similar dreams.” Nonetheless, what a fabulous tale!

Syriana is the movie that got George Clooney his Academy Award for his role as a supporting actor. I think most of you have already watched it but I will write about it regardless of that. I watched it without subtitles the first time. Something highly recommended for a few tamil movies but not for this one. A lot of dialogue is in Arabic/Persian and Hindi. Hindi I knew, Persian I do not. Hence, I had to watch it again. I would have watched it twice anyway. A powerful concept and a compelling execution would make you do that. A hard hitting movie on Oil imperialism.

Not that the diapers from the second paragraph have been changed. I think it would be safe to sign-off for today!

Misodelhism?

miso- or mis- pref. Hatred: misogamy
Delhi [(del-ee)] City in north-central India. The nation's capital
ism /Izem/ Pronunciation Key –noun a distinctive doctrine, theory, system, or practice

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)

Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

Working with the above definitions, the title is tantamount to a doctrine about contempt for Delhi. A meeting with a few friends of Rishi (of the right sidebar fame) and the impression they carried prompted me into writing this. Let my start with a clarification that I do not hate/dislike Delhi. As a city, it just disturbs me!

I think Delhi is hard on a new-comer not in the Bombay kind of a way. Bombay absorbs you, passes its nervous energy, frenzy, activity to you even before you realize it. Delhi on the other hand is like a hurdle. Either you cross it or you are stuck clueless. In my case, I just stumbled at the hurdle. Even after having spent 17 months cumulatively over the last few years, I still feel that Delhi culture refuses to assimilate me.

The city has a lot going for itself. Delhi has the best infrastructure in the country. I think it has a rich historical heritage. I doubt any other Indian metropolis can come close to Delhi’s historical heritage. Delhi has a cuisine that people around the globe would swear by. Delhi has sirifort, IHC, Auto Expo, Metro and everything else that could make life convenient. Lutyens Delhi is close to what a perfect city would look like. It does give you the heady shot of power. The moment I’d be able to put my name on a small piece of land out there, I would know that I have arrived in life. Delhi does have arguably the best CV amongst Indian cities. However, the party for Delhi has been spoiled by the Delhi culture. People outside Delhi seem to carry a far from good impression of Delhi. The in-the-face aggression, grab-what-you-can-get mentality, short-tempered high-pitched-expletive-laced conversational tone do put you off. It is tough to ignore them in your day to day existence. And on a continued basis they are such a pain in the rear that you are sore all the time.

Over the last 9 years, I have lived in Bombay, Delhi, Hyderabad, Ahmedabad, Chennai and Bangalore. I think Delhi has the worst professional work ethic. It is difficult to take your colleagues at face value. The old hierarchical school is still strong in the city. The PSU culture of strong hierarchies pervades the swank interiors of most MNCs in Delhi. Another disturbing aspect of life in Delhi is the avowed hostility against women. I doubt any woman would dare venture alone in most parts of Delhi after dark. Gawking openly is an integral part of the daily ToDo list of the Delhi male.

Dilli-dilwalon-ki! One gets to hear this epithet from the Delhiwallahs all the time. I am yet to experience the warmth of this heart. I have found that a linguistically challenged Chennai can be warmer than Delhi. To allegedly the most exhibitionist of Indian Cities, I would recommend slightly subtle display of material wealth.

Sans the types I have written about, Delhi rocks!

The Jargon Trap

This is based on an actual conversation that I had with a friend of mine who is an equity analyst with a European bank and with an illustrious academic career. The following conversation beautifully illustrates what the two years at B-school and Corporate world do to most people!

Friend: I was off to Vietnam on the weekend

Me: Wow! I get to travel to the sambhar-vada shop round the corner on my average weekend and you go to Vietnam. I am so envious!

Friend: No need to be envious. You travel more often. So it evens out!

Me: WHATTTT! If these two are comparable, why do not you, the humanoid leaky cauldron, include your innumerable number of visits to the loo! Anyway, bidesh brabhaman ki manyata humesha se hi desh bhatkan se jyada rahi hai!!

Friend: Nepal, Bhutan, Vietnam are not strictly bidesh

Me: When did you visit Nepal and Bhutan?

Friend: Nepal when I was 3 yr old and Bhutan was a second-hand visit through YYY and a few batch mates at the IIM in the eastern part of the country

Second-Hand visit!!! A jargon definitely worthy of the stereotypical jargon spouting MBA. Another one lost to the jargon trap!

Pride and Shame

Two days with two emotions. Indian sports have just managed the same. Pride because the Indian cricket team won the first test in South Africa. Not pride actually, but some semblance of respect after the pathetic performance in the 50-50 format. But definitely pride for the compulsive cricket follower. The last cling-able strand of hope. Laxman has his feet moving, Dada had a good comeback, Tendulkar is back on the front foot (Seems to be in good nick. Just needs a big one). Bowlers are doing great. Zaheer has matured, Sreesanth has the aggression of the untamed and Kumble is the seasoned hunter. The optimists need no more reasons to remain interested in the rest of the test series. We do secretly believe that team India stands a chance in Caribbean 2007. But that is a secret, so sussssh!

Shame. If the cricket episode was shame converted into pride. Santhi’s failure to clear gender test was exactly the opposite. She (?) was the toast of Tamil Nadu as she won the 800m Silver medal at Doha. Apparently authorities at Indian Olympic Association (IOA) were in the know on this as Santhi had failed to satisfy the railways on this very issue. Interestingly, gender testing has been discontinued at International athletics. The test is conducted only if a fellow competitor complains of foul play. If someone who ran a race along with Santhi could sense this, how can Nagarajan, Santhi’s Coach at Prime Sports academy, claim innocence on this?

Anyway, Pride is a difficult emotion to come by in Indian sports. There are a lot of promising sportspersons but more often than not their sporting careers meet a sad end. Professionally, a clerical job with the railways or the Indian Airlines is not the best fallback option as well. I had set-out to cover one pride and one shame. With some more blabbering on Indian sports it would be one shame too many. Hence, the stop!