Misodelhism?

miso- or mis- pref. Hatred: misogamy
Delhi [(del-ee)] City in north-central India. The nation's capital
ism /Izem/ Pronunciation Key –noun a distinctive doctrine, theory, system, or practice

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)

Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

Working with the above definitions, the title is tantamount to a doctrine about contempt for Delhi. A meeting with a few friends of Rishi (of the right sidebar fame) and the impression they carried prompted me into writing this. Let my start with a clarification that I do not hate/dislike Delhi. As a city, it just disturbs me!

I think Delhi is hard on a new-comer not in the Bombay kind of a way. Bombay absorbs you, passes its nervous energy, frenzy, activity to you even before you realize it. Delhi on the other hand is like a hurdle. Either you cross it or you are stuck clueless. In my case, I just stumbled at the hurdle. Even after having spent 17 months cumulatively over the last few years, I still feel that Delhi culture refuses to assimilate me.

The city has a lot going for itself. Delhi has the best infrastructure in the country. I think it has a rich historical heritage. I doubt any other Indian metropolis can come close to Delhi’s historical heritage. Delhi has a cuisine that people around the globe would swear by. Delhi has sirifort, IHC, Auto Expo, Metro and everything else that could make life convenient. Lutyens Delhi is close to what a perfect city would look like. It does give you the heady shot of power. The moment I’d be able to put my name on a small piece of land out there, I would know that I have arrived in life. Delhi does have arguably the best CV amongst Indian cities. However, the party for Delhi has been spoiled by the Delhi culture. People outside Delhi seem to carry a far from good impression of Delhi. The in-the-face aggression, grab-what-you-can-get mentality, short-tempered high-pitched-expletive-laced conversational tone do put you off. It is tough to ignore them in your day to day existence. And on a continued basis they are such a pain in the rear that you are sore all the time.

Over the last 9 years, I have lived in Bombay, Delhi, Hyderabad, Ahmedabad, Chennai and Bangalore. I think Delhi has the worst professional work ethic. It is difficult to take your colleagues at face value. The old hierarchical school is still strong in the city. The PSU culture of strong hierarchies pervades the swank interiors of most MNCs in Delhi. Another disturbing aspect of life in Delhi is the avowed hostility against women. I doubt any woman would dare venture alone in most parts of Delhi after dark. Gawking openly is an integral part of the daily ToDo list of the Delhi male.

Dilli-dilwalon-ki! One gets to hear this epithet from the Delhiwallahs all the time. I am yet to experience the warmth of this heart. I have found that a linguistically challenged Chennai can be warmer than Delhi. To allegedly the most exhibitionist of Indian Cities, I would recommend slightly subtle display of material wealth.

Sans the types I have written about, Delhi rocks!

The Jargon Trap

This is based on an actual conversation that I had with a friend of mine who is an equity analyst with a European bank and with an illustrious academic career. The following conversation beautifully illustrates what the two years at B-school and Corporate world do to most people!

Friend: I was off to Vietnam on the weekend

Me: Wow! I get to travel to the sambhar-vada shop round the corner on my average weekend and you go to Vietnam. I am so envious!

Friend: No need to be envious. You travel more often. So it evens out!

Me: WHATTTT! If these two are comparable, why do not you, the humanoid leaky cauldron, include your innumerable number of visits to the loo! Anyway, bidesh brabhaman ki manyata humesha se hi desh bhatkan se jyada rahi hai!!

Friend: Nepal, Bhutan, Vietnam are not strictly bidesh

Me: When did you visit Nepal and Bhutan?

Friend: Nepal when I was 3 yr old and Bhutan was a second-hand visit through YYY and a few batch mates at the IIM in the eastern part of the country

Second-Hand visit!!! A jargon definitely worthy of the stereotypical jargon spouting MBA. Another one lost to the jargon trap!

Pride and Shame

Two days with two emotions. Indian sports have just managed the same. Pride because the Indian cricket team won the first test in South Africa. Not pride actually, but some semblance of respect after the pathetic performance in the 50-50 format. But definitely pride for the compulsive cricket follower. The last cling-able strand of hope. Laxman has his feet moving, Dada had a good comeback, Tendulkar is back on the front foot (Seems to be in good nick. Just needs a big one). Bowlers are doing great. Zaheer has matured, Sreesanth has the aggression of the untamed and Kumble is the seasoned hunter. The optimists need no more reasons to remain interested in the rest of the test series. We do secretly believe that team India stands a chance in Caribbean 2007. But that is a secret, so sussssh!

Shame. If the cricket episode was shame converted into pride. Santhi’s failure to clear gender test was exactly the opposite. She (?) was the toast of Tamil Nadu as she won the 800m Silver medal at Doha. Apparently authorities at Indian Olympic Association (IOA) were in the know on this as Santhi had failed to satisfy the railways on this very issue. Interestingly, gender testing has been discontinued at International athletics. The test is conducted only if a fellow competitor complains of foul play. If someone who ran a race along with Santhi could sense this, how can Nagarajan, Santhi’s Coach at Prime Sports academy, claim innocence on this?

Anyway, Pride is a difficult emotion to come by in Indian sports. There are a lot of promising sportspersons but more often than not their sporting careers meet a sad end. Professionally, a clerical job with the railways or the Indian Airlines is not the best fallback option as well. I had set-out to cover one pride and one shame. With some more blabbering on Indian sports it would be one shame too many. Hence, the stop!

Making World A Safer Place

Today is one of those days when it requires no effort to write. Life gives you all the material with the dressing. George W Bush, the outgoing American president, has learnt his lesson from Afghanistan and Iraq. Learn more about his attempts to make world ever safer place and combating the nuclear threat from North Korea. Imaginative, eh! Another feather in your hat, Mr. Bush!

For the too lazy to click types, some excerpts from the news item:

In a novel effort that targets the lifestyle of North Korea's President, the Bush administration wants to make it tougher for him to buy iPods, plasma television sets, Segway electric scooters and more.

There would be no more cognac, Rolex watches, cigarettes, artwork, expensive cars, Harley Davidson motorcycles, even personal watercraft such as Jet Skis. The ban would extend to musical instruments and sports equipment.

I know! You feel safe already! Americans, you can sleep tight. President Kim is not getting any more i-pods to attack you with!

Pandora's Box And My Second Life!

Internet 2.0 is here. I read about it sometime back and thought that it was another of the management jargons that we, management types, inflict on the unsuspecting world. But things are changing, and at a speed that I feel that my adaptation rate would increasingly lag the internet rate of change. This is another indication that my generation is growing old but I will whine about that in some other post.

Collaborative content, participation, personalization and stronger virtual identities have become a reality and an ever increasing number of users are hooked onto the net like never before. I recently sampled two websites which got me very excited. Pandora and Second Life delight you beyond expectations. I am not much of a virtual person but these things have got me!

Pandora is a music genome project. It is a personalized radio station cum DJ cum music club. You can choose the artist/band/song that you like. It will play that song and other similar song/band. You have the option of rating that song and the band. The song list would dynamically change on the basis of your ratings. Also, it would give interesting nuggets of information on the songs that you might not have heard. Your feedback will also be a feed to other users who have similar tastes in music. It is almost like a friend re-commending to listen to a particular song when he hears that you are crazy about a particular number. You can try Finetune too. It is also a great site though Pandora seems to have a better collection. Another great music site is Musicovery. It allows you to choose a mood and it plays the songs accordingly. You can choose the time period and the kind of music along with the mood. The song selection is very neat!

Second Life (SL) is a rage on the net. It has 1.5 million users. It has all the attributes of massively multi-player online role playing game (MMPORG) and yet it is not one because of the freedom it allows the residents. You can choose what you want to be on second life. Linden labs manufactures and sells land. You can buy your piece and start your own commercial activity. The 3D world of SL has been created by its residents. There is chaos, competition, creativity, racism and love in this life as well. It has blogs, newspapers, night-clubs, marriages (!!) and everything else that exists in the real life. A lot of companies have opened their stores in second life to reach out the geekier of their consumer set. 20th Century Fox organized a premier for X-men III in second life. Other companies that exist on SL are Addidas-Reebok, BBC, Dell, MTv, Reuters, Sun and Toyota. SL is an indication of what future holds for us. Businesses have another channel to take care of. But the sociological affects of SL would be clear only after sometime. After all, though the world is virtual, the emotions are real! So do check it out!

For the time strapped and the ones not inclined virtually, I would suggest StumbleUpon. It is a tool that helps you stumble upon interesting sites on the net. It is almost like a treasure hunt except for the effort. The content stumbled upon is of exceptionally high quality. If you have any area of interest, you will simply love it.

Tauba-Tauba

Tauba-Tauba is the hit song from Kailash Kher's last album. Apart from the catchy beat and the raspy voice of Kher, what works for this number is the video. Do catch the video on YouTube if you have not seen it till now. I like this video so much that even though the song has faded away from the music channel and public memory, I get this strong urge to write about it.

To me, this video mirrors life closely. One does not value what one has. Or more often, does not realize that he has something when in possession of it. At the same time, one craves something that is out of reach. Insomniacs realize the importance of sleep only after their painstaking effort of spurning it away start yielding results! Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Why? Same old desire for what you cannot have. This lust pervades every aspect of life; be it a job, an address, a car, love or the state of satisfaction. Humans develop this trait when they are fairly young. Have you ever noticed a child raise hell for a particular toy in a toy shop? Notice a trifle longer and see the child forget the existence of the toy as soon as he exits the shop with the toy.

Perpetual dissatisfaction with the conditions of existence is a state we are condemned to. We are like dogs chasing their own tails! Anyway, let’s get back to the video and away from my pathological view of life. The story of pursuit for a certain someone has been told very well out here. I think one has to be extremely lucky to sidestep a predicament of the type so colorfully depicted it in video. The generally accepted phrase for this side-stepping is falling in love. The complimentary set comprises of people who are tired of this entire exercise. So they opt out of the system by choosing the next available solution. Since, so many people do it, would it be reasonable to assume that this is better than remaining in an unsolutioned state? Moreover, does Compromise make the world go round?

Follow-up: In Defense of reservations

After this post of mine, I have received a few reactionary mails/phone calls from people I know. Some were of the opinion that this is the nailing evidence they were looking for. Now, they can proclaim my insanity to the rest of the world. And a few (a couple to be exact) comments on the blog as well.

So here comes the rejoinder to the previous one.

There is a difference between ability and accomplishment that we are very familiar with. Ability is a necessary condition and not a sufficient one for accomplishment. Accomplishment demands abilities be nurtured and the right opportunities come by. If you read my essay again, you would realize that my call is not to "gift" accomplishments. All is ask for is equal opportunities and an assistance with educational development. I do not think I am asking for too much. After all, education is now a right of Indian citizens.

One can ignore the reality and say that backward castes are equal. Equal on IQ? Yes! But on everything else, they lag by generations. There is a strong case for disturbing this order that has crystallized over centuries. When a state espouses Equality for all its citizens, it signs up for reducing inequity where it exists. It is not there to maintain status quo. I believe reservations at least attempt to undo this state of inequity which some want to exist unto perpetuity. As I have said before, I am against the (ab)use of reservation by creamy layer or the repeat usage of reservations.

In the interim, the GOM (group of ministers) have decided that they would propose amendment in the constitution to allow creamy layer to benefit from reservations any number of times. Ram Vilas Paswan says that both of these is integral to bringing social justice to the masses! It is this block-headed logic of most politicians that disallows even a logical person to see merit in reservations. But there are sane voices as well. Sachhar committee has recently released a report that Muslims are worse off than the backward castes in many places. Saifuddin Soz (Minister for Water resources) went on news with the statement that his children should not benefit from reservation if it is extended to backward Muslims. We need more sane voices on both sides of the table.

In a Democracy, it is important to ensure that inequity remains at its state of equilibrium. The Maoist and Naxal eruptions across the country are an indication of the undoing of this equilibrium in the country. High social inequity is a precursor to most separatist movements. Inclusive policies like reservations are required to combat this. Let us not act like the kid whose favorite toy is being given to someone else! The final policy on this should be inclusive. It should sound fair in the word and execution. Tough task? Yes it is!

Yeh Kya ho raha hai!

Last fornight was one of the darkest periods on news. While I believe that life has made me increasingly numb over a period of time, incidents of last fornight make me feel as if I have been dragged through a cactus field. Want to write about a lot of things but have been low on energy, time and the motivation.

However, you should read and explore the following news items:

1. Khairlanji Dalit killings
2. Kidnapping of Anant Gupta
3. China staking claim on Arunachal Pradesh
4. Government proposing constitution amendment to allow creamy layer to continue to benefit from reservations
5. Yet another case of pavement dwellers being run-over
6. Ram Jethmalani tries his hand at character assasination of Jessica lall

I can go on for hours on each of these. However, I have decided to keep mum because of the paucity of time and the fact that it would emotionally drain me out. I will allow you to undergo this test of numbness.

Nostalgia...

It happens when you flip through the old photographs, re-read old mails and letters (remember them?). It happens while listening to a forgotten song. Like the song that was playing in the background when you saw a certain person last or when a certain set of events happened. It happens when you pass through a city that you had lived in and is not more than an airport/railway station/bus-stop for you now. It also happens when you are inside a now dilapidated building that you thought was huge but somehow seems to have shrunk over the years. It happens when you walk across a hedge that was once very familiar now not-so-familiar. It happens when you see the sun setting. It happens when you see the sun rise. It happens when you hear the rain falling. It happens when the loo (the one in Hindi) batters your face. It happens when you are talking to an old friend and realize that things have changed. It happens when you are talking to an old friend and realize that things have not changed. It happens when you watch Dil Chahta Hai. It happens when you hear a laugh, it happens when a tear trickles down slowly. It happens when you see a see a cassette titled “Super hits 1992, 1993.” It happens when you smell a particular perfume. It happens when you look at a scrawl that was your hand-writing once. It happens when you look at a sketch that your mom has preserved over the years. It happens when your Dad shows you that useless souvenir that you had bought for him on some trip long time back. It happens when you look at the year that you had put on the right hand corner of the second page of a book. It happens when you look at the rotting rubber on a cycle’s tires. It happens when you spot the location of some place on Google earth.

It happens. It happens more often these days. I meet friends and we discuss things that happened sometime in the past and things that are happening to people we had known in the past. Suddenly, past seems to be this treasure chest that has been filling over the years. And to quote a line that I heard somewhere, so much has happened that I find it difficult to believe that I was a part of all this. So at times I look back and I wonder. I just wonder!

Mere yaar ki Shaadi!

It is very unbecoming of a cynic if he admits the sudden feeling of contentment caused due to something that happened to someone else! But that is precisely what I intend to do today. I know that it is utterly shameless of me to do so but true to my cynic self, I do not care!

A close friend got married today. Not with the usual paraphernalia that is associated in marriages across the world. Marriage is a big social event for everyone including the pygmies, civil-war torn factions, oppressed or oppressor communities. No Sir, this one was no social event. Unless, of course, it were being conducted under Dhara Ek-so-chaumalees.[1] So this friend of mine who is neck, eyes, every-strand-of-hair-on-his-scalp deep in love has eloped with the lady of his life. The marriage documentation happened today at the sub-registrar office, Jayanagar 4th block. The bride and the groom were blue. I think they kept forgetting that they are supposed to breathe. Three witnesses (trivia for the enthusiasts: they need three witnesses to endorse the marriage) were all smiles because it felt so cool - aakhir dost log court marriage kar rahe they - also because the first half of office was washed away in this exercise.

The lady at the desk looked at us. Mistook the witnesses for the bride and the groom because of their cheerful faces. I had to quickly intervene and address the situation. The agenda was set for only one marriage. Soon we had five forms staring at us in the eye. Trust me, this court marriage thing requires more work of the witnesses than the Bride & Groom. Finally after filling the address, pin code and due endorsements from the witnesses some fifteen times over, we were asked to wait outside the office. I took out my camera to click a couple of snaps but was asked by the bureau people to put it away. They do not allow you to click photos inside the premises.

The bride started crying. The groom was so very tense. Two of the supporting star cast i.e. (Saket and Raghu) took off to get some frooties so that moonh-mitha can be done. Soon some office boy took us downstairs and we were parked outside the office of sub-registrar for about half an hour after that. I thought that this was an indication that the government machinery required some grease to get moving. We quickly huddled together to decide on the appropriate number and the color of gandhijis that should exchange hands. It was decided that Tarun should carry minimal funds inside the office so that he can proudly proclaim our collective bankruptcy. Surprisingly, the registrar did not ask for anything. Surprise to those who are new to the business of bribing/greasing palms.

Soon we were asked to go upstairs to the processing room. Poornima (Witness #2) used this chance to pinch the photos of TG and Shanu off the notice they had put on the board some 2 months back. Tarun took about 15 minutes to scrutinize the spelling of the names on the certificate. And then came the silent killer from the auntyji behind the desk, "Where are the sweets?" Yes even the gang of four sidekicks wanted sweets. But the sweets out here were just a guise for the grease that we discussed in the previous paragraph. So TG took out the purse and handed over a mutually acceptable amount which was promptly exchanged for some "Army Day" coupons (Rishwat - deshbhakti ke saath!!!). One coupon for each Rs. 50 contributed. What a neat way of accounting the daily collections! I was amazed by the simplicity of the idea. Staff members are given a stock of these coupons in the morning. Every evening a count is run on the remaining coupons and the collections should match 50 times the decrease. Also the collections person is different from the person controlling the coupons. Nice control systems in place as well.

Anyway, we came down and clicked a few photos and came back to office. I have not had such a beautiful start to a day in a long time. Here’s wishing Tarun and Shanu a blissful life ahead. Indeed a happy day!



[1] An act of law that prohibits congregation of more than 4 people at public places. Usually imposed during curfews